My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
