NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
