I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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