real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
