that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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