Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
