i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
