she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
