just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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