Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
