Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You've changed since you got that strap on
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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