I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
