Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
