He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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