i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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