I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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