Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize