You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
