im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
