He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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