I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
