you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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