the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
