maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
