you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
