I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
