I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
