i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
