dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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