You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
