He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
