I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
