Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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