I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
