omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
