finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
