xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
