And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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