margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
