You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
