I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
