ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize