Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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