dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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