You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Oh god it's open bar.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
