Where did you get a picture of my penis
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
