I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
