Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
