It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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