Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
