So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize