i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
