girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just invented taco cereal.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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