I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
