Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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