Dual....:-)
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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