ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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