I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
