TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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