you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
