If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
