God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
