like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
