Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
