She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
