can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
