Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
