im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize