I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
