I'm going to jail i love you
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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