last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
