I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
