I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
