Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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