exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
