I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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