There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
His hands were made for my vagina.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
