"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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