So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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