no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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