We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
