I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize