and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
