I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
